Who Am I? Exploring Identity Beyond Labels
Who Am I? Exploring Identity Beyond Labels
Identity. A single word with immense weight. Defined simply as "the fact of being who or what a person or thing is," the concept of identity feels both deeply profound and deceptively vague. But what makes our identity a fact versus a story we tell ourselves? How do we be, instead of just do, in a way that defines who we truly are?
For many, identity forms the foundation of behavior, purpose, and belonging. From early childhood, we absorb messages about who we are through external validation. Get an "A" on a test, and you're labeled a "good student." That validation may transform into self-worth: good grades mean love and approval. Over time, we start to weave roles and labels into our very sense of self—identifying with achievements, titles, and societal markers.
But here’s the catch: identity isn’t innate. It’s created. And when those creations falter—when roles shift, titles dissolve, or circumstances change—our sense of self can feel profoundly unsettled.
The Fragility of Created Identities
Consider someone who has spent their life identifying as a doctor, a performer, or a parent. What happens if their circumstances change? An injury may end a surgeon's career. A performer may leave the stage. A child grows up, shifting the role of "Mom" into uncharted territory. When we lose the external markers that define us, it can feel as though we’re losing ourselves entirely.
I know this feeling well.
For much of my life, I identified as a performer. Raised in an art-loving family, I thrived in theater, music, and dance, chasing the applause and validation that came with showcasing my talents. My identity as a performer became central to my dreams—dreams I carried through college and into professional auditions in New York. But somewhere along the way, my vision shifted.
Falling in love and envisioning a future that included partnership—and maybe even motherhood—didn’t align with the relentless pursuit of a stage career. I moved to Chicago, set my audition binders aside, and found joy in teaching yoga and managing a studio. Yet I struggled with a lingering need to justify my decision to others: “I’m a yoga teacher, but I still audition sometimes.” A friend’s honest observation helped me realize I was grieving the performer identity I had worked so hard to build.
Was I still me, even without the stage lights? Absolutely. But it required deep reflection to disentangle my sense of worth from my old labels and craft a new vision for my life.
Navigating the Limbo of Identity Shifts
It’s in these moments of transition—when our roles, dreams, or circumstances evolve—that identity becomes sticky. Letting go of old labels and beliefs while stepping into the unknown can feel like standing on shifting ground. Yet these shifts are also opportunities to return to our core essence: the true self that exists beyond labels, achievements, or societal expectations.
Who Are We at Our Core?
At our essence, we are far more than our titles or accomplishments. True identity lies in:
Core values and belief systems
Unique strengths and gifts
Authentic desires and dreams
Purpose and passion
Balanced behavioral qualities
Energetic presence—how we impact others
Lived experiences and wisdom
When we align with these aspects, we feel like ourselves. When we stray—either by ignoring our essence or over-identifying with a single aspect—we create friction. That friction leads to misalignment, influencing behaviors and results in ways that may feel out of step with who we really are.
Asking the Right Questions
So, who are you, really?
Underneath the roles of "mom," "entrepreneur," "partner," or "friend," there is a Self that exists independently of titles or achievements. The journey to discover and embrace that Self requires courage and compassion. It means questioning the stories we’ve told ourselves and being willing to step beyond societal norms or expectations.
In this space of inquiry, we reclaim our light and purpose—not through external validation, but through connection to our most authentic selves.
If this resonates with you, take a moment to reflect:
Which roles or labels feel central to your identity?
How would you feel if those roles changed or disappeared?
What core values and dreams define you beyond external markers?
By exploring these questions, you’ll begin to uncover the essence of who you are—and embrace the beauty of being, rather than doing.